


What's Love Got To Do With It?

by ThatOneLoveFairy (AssistantDetective)



Category: Huniepop & Huniecam (Video Games)
Genre: Agender Character, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Friendship, I'm just having fun with this and seeing where it goes, Jay doesn't want to be the main character but they don't really get a choice, Original Character(s), Other, Tags Are Hard, also I'm sad we don't get to see the girls interact save for at the beginning so I'm fixing that, they don't want to care but they care so much, will add more tags as they story progresses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-12 01:27:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29127198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AssistantDetective/pseuds/ThatOneLoveFairy
Summary: Kyu has been in the love fairy business for as long as she can remember, using her years of knowledge and her technological prowess to aid her in her endeavors to make sad chumps into champions. Too bad she got stuck with Jay, her would-be most hopeful achievement yet, if they could just do what she asked them to do and stop making her job so much harder.Jay isn’t exactly the sociable type. They spend most of their days at home, either working on their freelance writing assignments or playing games. So, imagine their surprise when they get roped into trying to date several women at once by a love fairy. As they traverse the dating world and look into the lives of these women who seem serendipitously connected to one another, Jay finds themselves immersed in trying to understand the presence of magical beings and how they’ve managed to intervene in the mortal world. As things are in life, however, it turns out that everything is more complicated than the games we play.Also, why is there an alien and a catgirl?
Comments: 9
Kudos: 8





	1. Tutorial Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay meets someone that ends up changing things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright. So. I am a huge fan of HuniePop. I watched playthroughs of it all the time back when it came out and I finally bought it earlier in 2020. Shit has helped get me through quarantine, probably more than it should have, tbh. I just really enjoy the game and the characters, which has led to... this. 
> 
> Jay is my OC, if you couldn't guess by now. They're a twenty something who is just trying to live their life, but Kyu ain't having any of it, so here we are.
> 
> 2/20/21: I redid this chapter to help with the pacing and help give Jay and Kyu some more time to interact with each other.

The night was young and so was Kyu; well, in fairy years, at least. She flew through the town with her staff-assigned HunieBee in hand, eyes scanning the buildings down below as the HunieBee scanned for activity. Sunday evenings were a great day to look for prospective clients, as most people were off work and lounging around with nothing better to do, which made Kyu’s job much easier. 

College towns were always ripe for the picking, from her experience, and the bigger the school, the better her chances were for gaining a new client. That was why she was in the town that housed the prestigious University of Glenberry, which was home to cuties and hotties alike that would make for wonderful notches on her new client’s belt. There were sure to be some sweaty nobodies in need of her magic touch, though only one would be lucky enough to gain her favor (it was way too messy trying to have multiple clients in the same area; nobody wants somebody’s sloppy seconds). She had already spent the day looking into the town’s hot spots and taken note of them so she could have them ready for her new client once she located them. 

The HunieBee buzzed and she slowed down to a gentle flutter to look down at it. A blip of activity showed on the building below, simply labelled by the HunieBee as the Bar & Lounge. Smirking, she dove toward the building with enthusiasm, only slowing down to land gently down below. With a small flutter, she rested her feet on the ground, careful not to touch the garbage that littered the alleyway. She flipped to her HunieBee’s wardrobe function and flipped through her choices before settling on her lustful red ensemble and settled on a short, messy style. After some consideration, she changed her hair to a simple brown; it would probably be good not to stand out too much.

With a quick smoothening of her dress, she stepped out of the alleyway and into the streetlights, stepping towards the Bar & Lounge with purpose. She entered casually with her HunieBee in hand and took a seat at a booth towards the back to avoid garnering any immediate attention. Her eyes scanned over the profiles that appeared briefly before flitting up to match them to their owner’s. 

Lot of older men, she admitted. Well, she wasn’t ageist, but she was hoping to get someone on the  _ younger  _ side, considering this was a college town and her client’s prospective marks were more likely to be younger women than not (though she would be remiss if she didn’t find at least  _ one  _ MILF). 

Then, as her eyes traced over to the bar, she stopped. A young, albeit morose looking soul sat at the bar alone, a drink with a lemon slice rested in front of them as they scrolled through their phone. She couldn’t see their face from where she sat, only the back of their messy mop of brown hair tucked beneath a gray beanie. They wore a faded black hoodie and old blue jeans that were fraying at their ankles. Curious, she scrolled through the profiles and paused upon finding a profile that matched it.

The quiet soul in question was one Jayden “Jay” Johnson (alliteration, much?) who was the age of 23 with their birthday falling on March 1st (a Pisces, then). Standing at 5’7’’ and weighing 142 pounds, they were a web developer and part-time writer that had completed nearly four years of college, though they didn’t have a diploma. Their hobby was writing (shocker), their favorite color was black (another shocker), their favorite season was winter, and their favorite hangout was… their house? Oh, that was just  _ sad _ … Which meant… 

Putting her HunieBee down, Kyu’s eyes locked onto Jay as they took a resigned sip from their lemon water. She slipped out of the booth and strode over, ignoring the stares of older men as they no doubt attempted to sneak a peek up her skirt, her eyes never leaving Jay. As she drew closer, Jay sighed into their glass, sending up a small puff of steam. Good Venus, they looked so pathetic… She  _ had  _ to help this poor sap out.

“Hi, there!” Kyu greeted warmly. 

Jay blinked and whipped their head around to face her, their dark, brown eyes widening with surprise. Kyu had to hold back a chuckle at their startled expression, but she was certain she couldn’t hide her amusement within her smile.

“Um… hi?” they replied, their gaze flitting to the side before settling back on her. “Can I… help you?”

_ ‘Oh, yes, you can,’ _ Kyu thought to herself, her excitement rising. 

“I just wanted to talk to you.” Before Jay could respond, she took a seat at the bar stool next to them and it did not pass her noticing when Jay went still with surprise. “Name’s Kyu; nice to meet you.”

Jay’s brows furrowed. “Uh, that’s cool… but  _ why  _ did you want to talk to me?”

Kyu propped her head on her hand as she rested her arm on the bar. “Is it a crime to want to talk to a stranger? It can get awfully lonely when you’re out by yourself, you know.”

“Right…” Jay drawled, their eyes falling to the wayside. “I’m… not used to people wanting to talk to me.”

“Well, you’re talking to someone now, champ!” Kyu laughed. She pointed at their drink. “Whatcha drinkin’?”

Jay glanced at it. “Water?”

Kyu blinked. “You came to a  _ bar  _ to get  _ water? _ ”

“I came to the bar to get out of the house,” Jay clarified, their brows furrowing a bit. They sighed and turned their body back towards their drink. “I needed to get some fresh air… Felt like I was going crazy in there.”

Kyu smiled sympathetically. “Bit of a homebody?”

They glanced back over at her. “And what about it?”

“Nothing,” Kyu replied, waving a hand nonchalantly, “just making conversation.”

“For… What reason, exactly?” Jay questioned. They arched a brow. “If you get lonely when you’re out by yourself, how come you’re not with friends?”

“They’re at work,” Kyu answered. Which wasn’t a  _ lie _ ; her friends had clients of their own to worry about, too. “But I needed to get out of the house, too. You don’t always need to be around friends to have a good time.”

Jay’s eyes fell down to their glass. “I suppose…”

Kyu’s brows furrowed a bit. This wasn’t going the way she thought it would; she had expected nervousness or awkwardness, but Jay was acting like a brick wall. She hadn’t ever encountered a potential client who was so standoffish towards her, and that was saying a  _ lot _ , considering she was nearly four centuries old. 

“Look, dude— Can I call you dude?” Kyu asked. Jay barely had turned their head towards her when she continued with, “Are you gonna be alright? Looks like you’re going through something… kinda heavy.”

“Huh?” Jay blurted out.

“You look mopey,” Kyu stated bluntly, “what is it? Did your dog die or something? Talk to me, champ.”

Jay sighed and waved their hand, turning their head back towards the bar. “It’s nothing. Forget I said anything.”

Oh,  _ Venus _ , it was worse than she thought. If this was how they were with every girl they talked to, it was no  _ wonder  _ they were still a virgin (she didn’t even  _ need  _ her HunieBee to know that; it was just that plain obvious). 

_ ‘If I take them on, I’d be taking a pretty heavy load,’ _ Kyu thought. She held back a snort.  _ ‘Heh, nice one, Kyu…’ _

Then again… She hadn’t failed a client yet, had she? In her 384 years of travelling between her world and the human world, she had encountered many mortals with incredible potential for greatness. Some were nobodies, but at least when she was done with them, they were nobodies with incredible game and swagger. She had, however, been fortunate enough to be on the ground floor of greatness for some of history’s greatest ballers, like Victor Hugo (by Venus, he was surely one of her favorites; she missed him so much).

Why would this poor sap be any different? 

“Hmmm…” she hummed aloud. “Wait… You know what?” She snapped her fingers. “This might actually work!”

“What are you—” Jay tried to say.

Kyu was not deterred. “Yeah,  _ yeah! _ Oh  _ man! _ This is your lucky day, buddy!” She hopped out of her seat and stood up, facing Jay with a beaming smile. “Listen, I gotta go, but we'll meet again real soon; trust me.” She brought her palm to her lips and blew a kiss. “Night!”

She didn’t wait for Jay to reply before sauntering out of the bar, a skip in her step. There was no time for explanations; she had a  _ lot  _ of prep work to do for her new client if she was going to make any sort of headway with them. Hopefully, when she met up with Jay again, she would have everything ready for them and they’d be able to jump right into a practice round before she sent them out to compete in the world of players. 

As soon as she was outside, she turned right into the alleyway, her disguise disappearing as she drifted further into the shadows. Her invisibility came around her like a familiar cardigan, lightweight, yet solid. With a flap of her wings, she took off into the night sky.

_ ‘Let’s see if you’re up to the challenge, Jaybird,’ _ Kyu mused to herself .

* * *

Jay  _ really  _ needed to limit their interactions with strangers. That conversation with that Kyu girl proved to be too strange for their liking, though they weren’t sure if that was on her part or theirs. They weren’t exactly a sparkling conversationalist themself, if they were totally honest. Still, they got out of the house, so they supposed that was a small victory in and of itself. They couldn’t recall the last time they had stepped outside— two weeks? Maybe three? — but then again, time seemed to be a relative concept half the time. 

That proved to be the case when they arrived at home and saw it was nearly midnight. By God, how long had they sat at the bar staring off into space? Had they really lost track of time that badly? 

_ ‘Well, so much for not staying up late tonight,’ _ Jay thought as they slipped their shoes off. With a resigned sigh, they climbed onto their bed, taking their laptop off of their bedside table and slipping it onto their lap. As they put on their noise-cancelling headphones and opened up their assignment’s Google Docs file, however, their mind trailed back to the strange brunette back at the bar. 

Just what was she trying to do? Strangers didn’t make a habit of talking to them unless it was for a reason and, knowing Jay’s luck, it wouldn’t be a very good one. And just what did she mean by “this might actually work”? Had they just been scouted as a potential mark for some pyramid scheme or, worse, a cult? Her affirmation of seeing them again soon certainly didn’t ease Jay’s anxieties. 

Jay shook their head. They opened up a Spotify tab and turned on their writing playlist, pushing their swirling thoughts to the backburner. There wasn’t any real sense worrying about it now, considering there wasn’t much they could do to change it. Besides, it wasn’t like she had been waiting for them outside when they left and no one had appeared to follow them home. After all, if they really  _ had  _ gained a stalker, then perhaps it would spice up the monotony of their life. 

_ ‘Maybe it’ll make pulling all-nighters a bit more interesting,’ _ they mused. 

It didn’t take long for them to fall into a bit of a rhythm with their writing, their fingers drumming across the keyboard as their head bobbed to their music. A song and dance that they knew well, they shuffled along pretty quickly, the words filling up the page bit by bit. It was a boring subject about some new trend on Twitter, but it was doable, at the very least. 

Jay wasn’t certain how long they worked on the paper before a new feeling of unease set in. At first, they tried to ignore it, thinking it to be just nerves. However, as they continued typing, their hands slowed to a still as the feeling only grew. They couldn’t pinpoint the cause for their anxiety, but it… almost felt like they were being watched. They shook their head. That Kyu girl really did a number on them and she had barely spoken to them. Inhaling deeply, Jay let out a tired sigh and rubbed their palms against their eyes. 

Then, Jay’s laptop slammed close and they jumped. Looking up in bewilderment, they went still upon seeing a pair of vibrant green eyes staring them down. With wide eyes, they stared in total shock as they saw the stranger before who seemed to speak with no volume. Realizing they were still wearing their headphones, Jay frantically slipped them off.

“—been trying to get your attention for ages!” the stranger exclaimed. When Jay didn’t speak, the stranger huffed. “C’mon, dude, we don’t have time to waste!”

Jay’s mouth opened helplessly and they closed it when they realized no words were going to come out. The stranger was small and slender, her green eyes in direct contrast to her bright, pink hair that was pulled into pigtails that were decorated with matching silver antennae. As startling as it was to see that she was wearing babydoll lingerie and panties of all things, Jay was most taken aback by the pair of giant wings that beat behind her back. 

“Venus, would you just  _ say  _ something already?” the girl exclaimed. 

“Did I forget to take my meds?” Jay blurted out. 

She blinked in surprise.  _ “What?” _

Jay shook their head. “No, I… I took them earlier, I’m sure…” They turned to their bedside table, where they saw their upside down prescription bottle. “I did. OK, that’s a relief…” They paused. “Did someone slip something into my drink?”

“No, bud, you’re not hallucinating,” the girl assured them. Which, wasn’t doing much, if Jay were completely honest. “You’re stone cold sober and drug-free!”

Jay’s brows furrowed. “ _ Riiiight… _ Listen, I’m just gonna… Make a phone call real quick…” They reached for their phone and sighed when they saw the screen wouldn’t turn on. “Shit, did I forget to put my phone on the charger  _ again? _ ”

The girl laughed and it made Jay tense at how  _ real  _ it sounded. “What, are you gonna call the cops or something?”

“No, I’m calling my therapist to see if I should get my meds adjusted.” They shook their head. “ _ Why _ am I telling you this, you’re a hallucination, you don’t  _ care _ .”

“Chill out for a second! You'll be glad I showed up.” Despite that, Jay continued to fumble around for their phone charger, and the girl sighed loudly. “Don't you recognize this  _ adorable  _ face?” 

Jay arched a brow. “...No?”

She giggled. “It's Kyu! From the Bar!”

Jay stared at her in bewilderment. “Your hair was brown, though.”

“Clever disguise, right?” she laughed a bit, batting her wings for emphasis. She twirled a finger in her hair with a grin. “I can change my hair any color I want; It's pretty sweet.” Jay continued to stare at her dubiously, their eyes watching Kyu’s wings as they continued to move behind her. “If you can't tell by now, I'm a fairy.” She paused in consideration. “Well… A love fairy to be exact.”

“Ohhh…” Jay drawled out. Then, they grimaced. “Well, why didn’t you just say so?”

Kyu chuckled humorlessly. “ _ Funny… _ but let's leave the sarcasm to  _ me _ , alright?” When Jay didn’t reply, she continued. “You see, as a love fairy it's my job to help poor saps like you out with the ladies.” She shrugged. “It's just… what I do.”

“Am I being pranked?” Jay asked suddenly and Kyu blinked. “I feel like I’m being pranked. Did some YouTuber break into my house so they could make a video that made me think I was going insane?” Their eyes scanned over their room. “Where are the cameras? Are the  _ Paul brothers _ behind this?” When they couldn’t spot the nonexistent cameras, they sighed. “So much for cancel culture…”

Kyu sighed and stood up from the bed, flapping her wings a bit to give her some momentum. Then, to Jay’s utter shock, she  _ floated  _ over the bed, her wings beating behind her like a heartbeat. “  _ First  _ of all: You are  _ not  _ being pranked. This is real and  _ happening  _ .” She leaned forward so her face was level with Jay’s. “  _ Second  _ of all: I am  _ not  _ working with the Paul brothers and, quite frankly, I’m a bit  _ offended  _ you would assume that!” 

Jay stared at her as she floated before him. “You’re  _ flying _ .”

“No fucking  _ duh! _ ” Kyu exclaimed, throwing her hands up. She took a deep breath and put her face in her hands for a moment. “Alright, let’s start over…” She pulled her hands away and forced what obviously a very strained smile. “My name is Kyu, the love fairy, and it’s my job to make poor saps like you into somebodies! C’mon, let’s go!”

“‘Go’?” Jay repeated. “Go where?”   


“On a date!” Kyu answered. She clapped her hands. “C’mon, up, up! I already have a place ready for our practice round before you dip your toes into the dating pool for real.”

Jay held up their hands in a “pump the brakes” motion. “Whoa, whoa,  _ whoa…  _ Wait a minute… You’re a… love fairy, was it?”

“Look at you, you were listening!” she replied. Kyu reached towards them. “C’mon, dude, you gotta get up! We’re already running behind!”

Jay recoiled from her touch. “Wait a minute! Just… Why are you doing this? What do you get out of this?”

“ _ Man! _ You and all the questions! Can't a fairy just help a poor soul out?” When Jay’s response was an arched brow, she let out a sigh. “Look, we need to get started  _ right away.  _ ” She raised a brow questioningly. “Tell me, how many dates  _ have  _ you been on?”

“Define…  _ ‘date,’ _ ” Jay responded, unsure what else to say.

Kyu groaned and put her face in her hands. “Oh my, God, it's worse than I thought, isn't it?” She stood upright, planting her feet into the ground. “Alright, grab your shit! We’re going on a date right now!” In an instant, she grabbed a hold of Jay’s hands and began pulling them off of the bed. “ Someone has to show you the ropes!”

Jay managed to wrench free momentarily. “Jesus, knock it off! You’re gonna break my laptop!” They took it in their hands and set it on the bedside table. “And I can get up by myself  _ just fine _ , thank you very much.”

Kyu rolled her eyes. “Whatever. We don’t have time for your sass.”

Jay climbed out of bed. “Look, I still don’t get what this is… I’m your, what? Protege? Apprentice?”

“Client,” Kyu clarified, “and before you ask, no, I don’t charge an hourly rate. Consider this charity.” She shook her head. “If only I could write this off on my taxes…”

“Fairies have taxes?” 

“We have a  _ lot  _ of things,” Kyu shot back, “but what I  _ don’t  _ have is a lot of  _ patience  _ and your tortoise-like pace isn’t helping!” She grabbed their wrist. “I know a place nearby that’s open pretty late. You’ll love it! Or not… I don’t care.”

With a snap of her fingers, Jay blinked and they were no longer in their apartment. They looked side to side frantically to see they were at a lounging area beside a body of water. Their eyes trailed back towards Kyu, who was standing with a smug smile on her face. 

“Relax, it’s just you and me out here,” she assured them. Kyu took a seat at one of the benches and patted the spot beside her. “C’mon, take a seat.”

“Why?” Jay questioned. 

“Uh, for our  _ date? _ ” Kyu rolled her eyes. “Weren’t you paying attention back at your apartment? We’re going for a practice round right now so you can learn the ropes!” 

“A  _ date? _ ” Jay blurted out. They held up their hands. “Alright, I know you said I looked lonely back at the bar, but this is… this is going a bit far, don’t you think?”

Kyu sighed. “Are you gonna sit or not?”

Not seeing much else to do, Jay hesitantly took a seat beside her, leaving a good amount of space between them both. They tucked their hands together and placed them in their lap, their gaze falling to the wayside. 

“Venus, you’re acting like I’m gonna bite you,” Kyu chided. When Jay didn’t move closer, she sighed. “Look, Jay— can I call you Jay? I’m gonna need you to chill out. I know you’re not used to the whole ‘socializing with girls thing’—” She held up her fingers in air quotes mockingly as she said that. “—but there’s literally  _ nothing  _ you can do that would shock me. I’ve seen it all and  _ then  _ some, bucko. Do your  _ worst _ .”

“How bad?” Jay chuckled awkwardly. “What, has some guy shown you his dick on the first date?”

“Yes,” came Kyu’s flat answer.

Jay went still.  _ “Deadass?” _

“Like I said, I’ve seen worse,” Kyu iterated. She pointed down at Jay’s pants zipper. “But I’d  _ appreciate  _ it if you kept your  _ situation  _ to yourself.”

Their hands went to their crotch self-consciously. “Yeah, you’re not gonna have to worry about…  _ that _ . I’m not the flashing type.”

Kyu rolled her eyes once again. “Congratulations, you’ve achieved the bare minimum of being a decent person. There may be hope for you yet.”

“Right…” Jay fidgeted with their hands. “What, uh… do we do here, exactly?”

“Relax.” Kyu slid a bit closer to Jay, much to their surprise. “Look, I’m just here to give you some basics to work through, alright? Think of it as a foundation for you to fall back onto when you’re out dating.” She turned her body towards Jay. “First things first; make a good impression. Try to look nice and stay clean, alright? Girls don’t usually dig it when people smell bad.”

Speaking of, when was the last time Jay showered? They were gonna have to fix that. “Duly noted… And cool it on the cologne, I’m guessing?”

“Bingo,” Kyu replied, smiling a bit, “glad I didn’t have to tell you  _ that…  _ Some dudes I’ve worked with in the past used Axe like aerosol.” She shuddered. “Sitting through practice dates with them was  _ hellish…  _ I almost prefer the slobs over those types.”

Despite themselves, Jay chuckled. “As someone who has been to middle school, I know your pain.”

Kyu laughed. “ _ Nice _ . Jokes and flirting go well together, if you know what you’re doing, so keep that in mind.” She nudged them with an elbow teasingly. “Though don’t try to force it  _ all _ the time. Let it come natural, newbie.” 

“Noted as well,” Jay acknowledged. They fidgeted with their hands. “So, uh… What now? I’m… not good at this.”

“That’s why I’m here, champ,” Kyu said, “if you don’t know what to say, then ask a question! Try to avoid questions that start with ‘how,’ though, since you can fall into a very easy trap with that.” 

Jay blinked. “Huh?”

Kyu sighed. “When you ask someone  _ how  _ they are, it’s surface-level. You aren’t learning  _ who  _ they are. You’re  _ talking _ , but you’re not  _ sharing _ , you get me?” She brought an index finger to her temple. “You gotta put thought behind what you’re asking or else you come across as shallow, and girls do not dig that.”

“That’s… good advice, actually,” Jay admitted.

Kyu smacked their arm. “I know what I’m doing bud! In short, it’s good to ask questions so you can get to know your date and what they like.”

“You got onto me for asking questions before,” Jay commented.

“We were running behind!” Kyu protested. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Alright… Let’s back it up a bit…” She opened her eyes. “Pretend like we’re back at the Bar & Lounge and I just walked up to you. I say hi; how do you respond?”

“Say… hello back?” Jay guessed.

Kyu’s palm made contact with her forehead. “You’re supposed to actually  _ say  _ it…”

“Oh!” Jay’s hands wrung together. “Uh, hi…?”

“Good enough,” Kyu sighed. She straightened herself up and put on a sweet face. “My name is Kyu. I couldn’t help but see you sitting alone here tonight. Wanna have some company?”

Jay’s eyes flitted to the side. “Uh, I guess.”

“‘I guess,’ doesn’t sound good.” Kyu held up an index finger. “You could say, ‘oh, that sounds nice, thank you.’” Another finger went up. “Or, if you wanted to be extra flirty, you could slip in a pet name like, ‘sure thing, sweetheart.’”

“That might come off creepy,” Jay told her.

Kyu huffed. “Just say it!”

“Jesus,  _ shit _ , okay!” Jay exhaled. “Sure thing…  _ sweetheart _ .”

Kyu’s face soured. “ _ Oof _ , okay,  _ no _ , you’re right, that  _ does  _ sound creepy. No pet names for you.”

“Thank  _ God _ ,” Jay whispered. They brought a hand to their face. “Can we  _ go  _ now? Did that satisfy your need to give me a practice date?”

“No,” Kyu said simply. She leaned forward so her gaze was level with theirs. “We got a  _ lot  _ to cover tonight if you’re gonna have any hope of surviving out there. Now, let’s go over some flirting techniques for beginners. You’re gonna wanna hone that wit of yours for this.”   


Jay held back a groan. This was going to be a  _ long  _ night… 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell I have a bit of fun writing Kyu? She's easily one of my favorite girls in the franchise. 
> 
> Comments are appreciated, but not mandatory. Hope y'all enjoy my later installments as they come.


	2. Going To The Mall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay goes to the mall and meets the first girl that Kyu intends for them to date. It doesn't exactly go as she planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually posted this chapter the other day, but deleted it because I made some narrative changes, so here we are.
> 
> Also, this chapter has mentions of mental illness, anxiety, and using drugs because... Well, Audrey.
> 
> 2/20/21: Due to the changes I made in chapter 1, I had to shift some stuff here.

It was a tough go of it, but it wasn’t the  _ worst  _ date Kyu had been on. She managed to get a good amount of the basics down, albeit with mixed results, but hey, rookies are gonna make mistakes. Thankfully, Jay seemed to roll with the punches pretty well and managed to come out of the date with  _ passable  _ decency. By the time the date was over, she was pleased to give them the starting munie allowance of 1,000. They were gonna have to step their game up, though, and she knew the best way to do that was to gain experience. 

“Niiiice,” she drawled, as the munie dipped into their account, “I knew you had it in you!”

And just like that, the two were back in Jay’s room and Kyu was positively beaming, elated about another promising start to yet another promising client. Her euphoria was short-lived, however, as she saw the light leaking through the windows of Jay’s room. 

“Aw,  _ shit! _ ” she exclaimed, despite herself, “It's morning already? We're  _ way  _ behind schedule!” She paused for a moment to inhale sharply; she couldn’t lose focus, not this early into the game. “Okay, check it out. I have one last thing to give you and this is  _ important _ .” With a snap of her fingers, the HunieBee appeared in her hands, which, to Jay, probably looked a lot like a standard smartphone. “Introducing the latest in love fairy technology; the Huniebee 4.0!”

Kyu was so unbelievably thankful for the implementation of technology into the fairy world. Back in what felt like the stone ages, it was much harder to help her clients achieve success with their dates. Now, in the age of technology, her clients could effectively communicate with their marks with incredible research intelligence, inventory, and income control. Venus, she wished that the humans had been more technologically advanced sooner; it would have made her life a  _ lot  _ easier.

“The HunieBee is an essential lifeline for any player on the go,” Kyu continued, using her script with ease, “it automatically registers the info of new girls you meet and can even track their location. You can organize your inventory, buy new gifts, upgrade your traits. It’s awesome!” Man, she was rambling, wasn’t she? She should chill out. “We don't have time to go over every feature, but you're an adult. You can figure it out.” She nudged them. “Go ahead! Break that bad boy open!”

She watched Jay flip through the HunieBee with interest and grinned. It was already set up for them by one of her interns back in Sky Garden and was hooked up to the daily store where gifts and consumables were sorted away neatly and the traits section was already set up for easy use. As much as she would like to continue explaining the HunieBee, she knew that they would be wasting daylight and Jay had to hit the ground running if they wanted to make progress. 

“Okay, great!” she exclaimed, startling Jay’s attention away from the HunieBee (these damn kids and their phones), “I think that’s it for now. Let’s get out there and talk to some—”

“Hold up,” Jay said, cutting her off, “this is… absolutely  _ insane _ .” 

Kyu blinked in surprise. “Huh?”

Jay’s fingers fiddled with the HunieBee when they looked up at her. “You… just showed up last night after breaking into my apartment and kidnapped me to go on a date… And then you give me this magic phone? Just like that?”

Ah. She should have expected this. Humans tend to have a lot of questions about stuff like this. “Look, I get that this is a lot, but we’re wasting daylight! You’re not gonna be scoring any dates just by standing around in your room!” Speaking of, while they were gone on their own, she was gonna have to run some laundry for them, since they were gonna be too busy pulling in the ladies to do it. “C’mon, let’s go talk to some broads!”

Jay fidgeted. “And what if I don’t want to?”

Uh… What? “I said—”

“I  _ know  _ what you said,” Jay snapped. After a moment, they exhaled sharply. “I just… I just don’t  _ get  _ it. I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around all of this.”

Kyu scoffed. “I can imagine it would feel that way for you, since you’re human. But as I was saying—”

“No.” Holy shit, did they just interrupt her  _ again? _ “I mean… This entire thing. It’s… insane. Like, literally insane.”

Alight... She’ll bite. “What do you mean?”

“You’re a  _ love fairy _ ,” Jay stressed, “you’re like something out of a fever dream. And now you’re giving me all this stuff and it’s all at once and I just… I just don’t understand.”

Venus, why are mortals so obsessed with needing to understand everything? Can’t they just take the free help and move on? “Alright, I get you’re confused. I totally do. But you’re not gonna understand anything if you just sit here and argue with the person who is trying to help you get laid.”

Jay’s brows furrowed. “I thought you were a love fairy?” 

“Wow, looks like you  _ have  _ been paying attention!” Kyu exclaimed.

“But if the endgame is sex, then wouldn’t that make you a sex fairy?” Jay asked. 

She crossed her arms and sighed. “Look, Jay— can I call you Jay? I’m giving you the help of a  _ lifetime  _ with this, alright? Are you really gonna sit here and argue about the logic of everything? Or are you gonna take that first step out there and finally meet some broads?”

“Why do you keep calling them—”

_ “No more questions!” _ Kyu shouted, making them jump. She pointed at Jay’s HunieBee. “C’mon, I’ve already picked out places for you to meet the hotties of your little college town! There’s the university, the mall, the gym, the park or the nearby cafe. What’ll it be?”

“I…” Jay began. Venus, they were a nervous wreck. This was gonna be a process, for sure. “I guess the mall?”

“Good choice rookie!” she said, beaming a bit. “Couldn't have picked it better myself! Alright, get ready. Get your game face on!” 

“ _ Oooooor _ , I could put some actual shoes on,” Jay told her, and she blinked, “you didn’t let me put any on when we went on our date.”

Kyu’s eyes trailed down to their socked feet. “Ah. So I didn’t.”

“Could I… also change clothes?” Jay questioned. “And maybe grab a shower?”

“We don’t have  _ time  _ for—” Kyu tried to say.

_ “Hey,” _ Jay cut in, “you told me back on our date that hygiene is important for making first impressions, remember?”

Shit. Using her own logic against her… That was downright  _ evil _ . “Alright, fine, go hop in the shower. But ten minutes, tops!” She pointed towards their bathroom. “And don’t wait for the hot water to kick on, either! You could use a cold shower to perk you up, since we pulled an all-nighter.”

“Nothing new to me,” Jay answered casually, walking to the bathroom, “though I’m definitely gonna need a nap later on.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure, later, hop to it!” She fluttered her wings. “I’m gonna pick out an outfit for you that doesn’t make you look like a sad teenager and then we can head down to the shopping mall.”

_“Yippee,”_ came Jay’s echoing reply from within the bathroom, “can I stop at the game store while I’m there, at least? Maybe even a Cinnabon, since I haven’t eaten yet?”  
  
Kyu inhaled sharply. “No.”

The door to Jay’s bathroom slammed close.  _ “Booooooo.” _

With another sharp inhale, Kyu pinched the bridge of her nose. “Venus, give me  _ strength… _ ”

* * *

By the time Jay was done with their shower, they slipped into the clothes Kyu had hung outside the bathroom door. She had the grace not to complain when they slipped their hoodie and beanie back on, though she wasn’t as kind when it came to suggesting deodorant, which, to be fair, Jay couldn’t fault her for, considering it had completely slipped their mind. Still, Jay didn’t appreciate Kyu spritzing them with cologne, nor the fact that she had laughed when it sent them into a coughing fit. 

“You ready?” Kyu said, once they got their breathing under control.

“As I’ll ever be,” Jay wheezed. They stood upright and cleared their throat. “I just gotta find my keys, is all.”

“No need,” Kyu answered. When Jay stared at her, she fluttered her wings. “Magic, remember? I can get you there pretty fast.”

“I’d… rather drive,” Jay faltered. They rubbed the back of their head nervously. “I’m not a big fan of fairy travel, if I’m honest with you.”

Instead of verbally responding, Kyu snapped her fingers and Jay felt shock go up their feet as they found themselves outside the shopping center. Blinking, they turned to Kyu. “What the fuck?”

“Relax, this is faster!” Kyu asserted. When Jay’s frown didn’t leave their face, she sighed. “Look, I’m sorry about the landing, but we wouldn’t have to fairy travel if you weren’t stalling!”

Jay inhaled sharply. “Okay, well, we’re here now… What do we do, exactly?”

Kyu grinned. “Only way to find out is to head inside.”

With the enthusiasm of someone on their way to the gallows, Jay trudged inside the mall, ducking their head down as they wove through the many strangers that occupied it. Was the place more crowded than usual? When was the last time they had come to the mall, anyway? It had to have been months, right?   


Their thoughts swirled away from that, however, as they noted Kyu floating beside them. Blinking in bewilderment, they glanced around to see if anyone was paying them mind, but, to their astonishment, no one seemed to bat an eye. Before Jay could even bother to ask why no one seemed to care, a loud exclamation made them stop cold. 

“Ugh! Of _course_ you messed it up _again!_ ”

“Oh?” Kyu said, a smile playing across her lips. “Do I sense some _drama?_ ”

She floated over to the source of the sound and Jay followed after her haplessly, trying to maneuver through the crowd. Upon doing so, the two of them finally came across the sight of two girls standing at the threshold of a hair salon. One was a shorter girl with bright red hair in a red lolita dress and the other was a taller woman with long, black hair with an apron wrapped around her waist, covering the front of her tank top and shorts. Curiosity getting the better of them, they stepped a bit closer.

“You’re fucking _loco!_ ” the black haired woman exclaimed. “This is how I _always_ cut your nasty ass hair!”

Jay spared a look down at her apron and saw hair products and tools resting in some of the products. Ah. So _that’s_ what this was about. 

_“Nasty ass hair?”_ the redhead shrieked. Oh, good God, her voice sounded so _bratty_ . “Ugh, don’t _even_ ! Look who’s talking, _skank!_ ”

“No, _bitch_ ,” the stylist shot back, her voice rising, “my hair isn’t dried out and reeking of smoke, OK?”

_“Yikes,”_ Jay whispered quietly, sparing a glance at Kyu.

“Shhh, it’s just getting good,” she hissed. A smile spread across her face like a madwoman. “I got munie on the stylist. What about you?”

Before Jay could reply, the redhead started yelling again. “Whatever, _ho!_ Why don’t you go get knocked up again?”

Instantly, the stylist’s face changed. Her anger was broken apart by a flicker of shock before settling into an eerily calm expression that was only betrayed by the heat in her eyes. She took a step towards the redhead, standing up at her full height to look down on her. Although she was only a couple inches taller, it was enough to give the redhead pause. 

“Oh, ho, _ho_ ,” Kyu laughed, clapping her hands a bit, “catfight, _catfight!_ ”

“You need to turn around and walk away,” warned the raven haired woman, her voice low. 

After a beat, the redhead smirked. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt your _whore_ feelings?”

“Turn around,” the woman repeated, raising her voice a bit, “and _walk away._ ”

“Gladly,” the redhead said, still smirking, “at least I won’t have to look at your whore face anymore.”

Before the stylist could respond, she turned on heel and sauntered off, leaving the woman standing alone at the salon. After a moment, the woman sighed and went back inside, muttering something quietly under her breath. Jay turned their attention back to the redhead, who had stopped to watch the woman walk back into the salon.

“Fuckin’ whore ass bitch needs to _learn_ ,” she quipped, smirking a bit. 

“ _Ooooo_ , she's a little _feisty_ one, huh?” Kyu said as the redhead stopped to check her phone. Jay arched a brow and she chuckled. “Oh yeah, they can't see or hear me.” Ah. That checks out. “I'm just a figment of your imagination. Plot twist!” When Jay blinked in surprise and glanced down at the HunieBee in panic, she laughed. “Nah, I'm crazy real! I just hid myself from everyone so I can give you advice on the sideline.”

“Ah,” Jay said aloud, and then paused when people stopped to look at them. Sheepishly, they looked down. Well, at least they didn’t have to worry about getting their meds adjusted. 

Kyu giggled. “Yeah, keep that in mind when I’m talking to you. Wouldn’t want the ladies to think you’re a psycho.” When Jay didn’t laugh, she pouted. “OK, OK, I’ll quit teasing. Now, let’s focus on your mark.”

“My mark?” Jay blurted out and then quickly regretted it when people looked at them once again. 

_“Helloooooo,”_ Kyu sang, “we’re here to pick up some broads! And there’s a feisty one a few feet away from you!”

With wide eyes, Jay turned towards the redhead, who was still on her phone. “You mean _her?_ ”

“Volume, remember?” Kyu said and instantly, Jay’s cheeks warmed up. “Chill out, dude. You’re not gonna be getting into anyone’s pants if you clam up that easily.”

“But she seems so _rude_ ,” Jay stressed, trying to keep their voice low. 

“No _shit_ , Sherlock,” Kyu replied, rolling her eyes. “This—” She pointed at the redhead. “—is what we refer to as a mega bitch. Confidence is _key_ here.” Kyu turned back to Jay and jabbed a finger into their chest. “She has to know _you're_ in charge and her bullshit isn't going to phase you.”

“But I don’t _want_ to talk to her,” Jay said simply. Seeing that interaction reminded them exactly why they didn’t miss customer service jobs. 

“So what!” Kyu exclaimed. “Girls fight! It’s just nature!” She elbowed them in the ribs and Jay tried not to react for fear of someone seeing. “Just go talk to her! And whatever you do, just stay cool!”

“But—” Jay tried to say, but before they could get the rest of the words out, Kyu disappeared from sight. They took a moment to look around helplessly, but when Kyu was nowhere to be seen, they let out a tired sigh. Were they hallucinating? Did the pharmacy give them the wrong prescription and this was just a side effect? Or were they having another mental break?

Jay closed their eyes and took a deep breath; one, two, three, four. They held their breath, counting one, two, three, four, five, six, seven in their head before slowly exhaling as they ran through one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. As their count finally ended, they opened their eyes and took in the sight of their surroundings. 

_‘Five things you can see,’_ Jay mused. They took the time to count out the presence of the salon, the neighboring clothing store, a promotion sign, the mall directory, and finally, the escalator. 

_‘Four things I can feel.’_ The HunieBee, their t-shirt, their jean pocket, and their hair. 

_‘Three things I can hear.’_ The tread of feet, the music playing on the overhead speakers, and the soft clamor of strangers chatting around them. 

_‘Two things I can smell.’_ The smell of hair products from the salon and… Was there a Cinnabon nearby? They should grab something on their way out. 

_‘One thing I can taste.’_ When they ran their tongue over their teeth, they grimaced as they realized they hadn’t brushed them that morning (or the night before, for that matter). Still, as they finally finished their countdown, they could already feel the tension leave their shoulders. 

Christ, this was the _exact_ reason they stopped going out anywhere. They could never predict when they’d find themselves at the edge of another breakdown and the risk was too high to brave. That trip to the bar was the most they had planned on doing for the foreseeable future until they had to go grocery shopping again, but meeting Kyu wanted to make them crawl back into their room and never come out again, starvation be damned. 

Jay paused in consideration. Well, if she wasn’t _there_ anymore, then there was nothing stopping them from just—

“Uh, could you _move_ , please?” snapped a dreadfully familiar voice. Slowly, Jay turned to see the redhead standing right there in front of them, glaring. She was shorter than them, they realized, but even so, her crimson eyes bore into him with a great intensity. “You’re _kind_ of in my way.”

Oh, today was _not_ the day. Jay had started the day out with minimal patience as it was and this girl was about to jump on their last nerve. With a grimace, Jay shot back, “Why don’t _you_ move?”

The redhead blinked with surprise at Jay’s response before her face contorted into rage. “ _Excuse_ me?”

“I _said_ ,” Jay began, raising their voice, “why don’t _you_ move? _You_ walked into _me_ , so _you_ walk away.”

The redhead scoffed in disbelief. “Where the _fuck_ do you get off talking to _me_ like that?”

Jay couldn’t help but laugh humorlessly. “Oh, that is _bold_ coming from the person who just verbally assaulted someone over a _haircut_ .” They nodded their head at the salon. “If you don’t like how she cuts it, then go find a different stylist and make _them_ miserable instead.” 

“ _Nosy_ , much?” the redhead sneered. She jabbed her finger into Jay’s chest, leaning forward with fury. “Why don’t _you_ made your own _fucking_ business?”

Without thinking, Jay retorted with, “I’m a veterinarian; bitches _are_ my business.”

“What did you just say to me?” she exclaimed, drawing the attention of some people as they passed by. 

Jay arched a brow. “Did I stutter?”

It was such a juvenile response, but at that point, Jay didn’t care. It didn’t matter if Kyu was real or a figment of their imagination that came from a mental break; they were _done_ . If she decided to reprimand them for it, then she’d just had to suck it up and deal with it, because there was absolutely _no_ way that they were going to tolerate putting up with some random girl who thought being alt made her exempt from being a decent person, let alone pursue her _romantically_. 

As the redhead stood there in stunned silence, Jay went to turn around. “Now, if you’ll _excuse_ me, I _will_ be getting out of your way, but not because I want to do _you_ any favors. I just have more important things to do than argue with you.”

They turned away without another word and tread down the hall, weaving through the crowd with heavy steps. This was a huge waste of time; why did they even bother coming here despite the absurdity of it all? They shouldn’t have even entertained the idea.

“Dude, what the fuck?” exclaimed Kyu, making Jay’s heart sink a bit as they rounded a corner. When they didn’t stop walking, she glided in front of them, forcing them to a still. “You totally blew it back there! What happened to ‘keep it cool’?”

Jay sighed and stepped around her. “She’s not worth the trouble.”

“So she’s a bit of a challenge!” Kyu snapped. She kept up with Jay’s angry strides with a steady flap of her wings. “But you can’t butt out now! The day is still young and you can make progress if you just work at it!”

“The only work I should be focusing on are my writing assignments,” Jay retorted, keeping their voice low, “and if I leave now, I can probably have it done by the end of the day.”

Kyu blew a raspberry disdainfully. “ _That’s_ what you’re worried about? _Work?_ You can always do that later!” She grinned at them. “Besides, would you rather spend your day sitting at your laptop than spending it with some eligible bachelorettes?”

Before Jay could articulate a response that voiced their swirling thoughts and emotions, a loud exclamation from behind them stopped them dead. “Hey, you!”

With a sigh of resignation, Jay slowly turned around to see the redhead charge through the crowd with little regard for the people around her. Her crimson eyes were locked onto them intently as she clomped on the linoleum floor, her hands clenched into fists at her sides.

Kyu’s eyes widened. “Oh? What do we have here?”

“I’m not sticking around to find out,” Jay said simply, stepping to turn around. However, before they could make a move, a set of hands grabbed a hold of their upper arms, keeping them from turning and imbolizing. They blinked with surprise to see it was Kyu holding them in place, floating in front of them. “Kyu, let _go_.”

“I think the _fuck_ not!” Kyu proclaimed, holding them tightly. She looked back at the redhead as she drew closer. “Consider this a punishment for not following my advice, buddy!”

Jay growled. “You’re such a—” 

However, as the words were getting ready to leave their mouth, Kyu’s grip loosened and she quickly disappeared from view. Startled, they stared at where she was for a moment in awestruck silence only to realize that the redhead was only a couple feet away.

“Asshole!” she snarled, covering the last bit of distance between them quickly. “Just who do you think you _are?_ ”

Jay bit back a sigh. “Look, I’m sorry that I made you upset, but in all fairness, _you_ were rude to _me_ first. If you’re gonna act shitty, then don’t act surprised when some people match your energy.”

The redhead didn’t back down. “No one _ever_ talks back to me like that.” 

“Well, maybe someone should start,” Jay replied simply, “is that _all_ you wanted to say or are you just gonna call me an asshole again?”

_“Ugh,”_ the redhead fumed, her brows furrowed as she glared up at Jay, “you always got something to say back, don’t you?”

“And you have the wit of a YouTube comment,” Jay shot back, “maybe get some new insults, Chanty Binx.”

The redhead stared at Jay for a moment before, to their astonishment, she laughed. Jay blinked with surprise and the redhead managed to get herself together when she replied with, “Well, I haven’t heard _that_ one before!”

Jay blinked once again. “Um… what?”

She chuckled. “Like I said before, almost no one _ever_ talks to me like that… They’re all too spineless to say what’s actually on their mind.” She smirked. “But you… got some bite to that bark, don’t you?”

“I…” Jay trailed off. “Thanks?”

“Don’t mention it,” she said a bit too seriously before smirking again. “Even my friends are too nice to talk back to me, you know. I could use some more realness in my life. Tell you what, if you’re _lucky_ , maybe we can go get high sometime. You down?”

Jay couldn’t hide their shock. _“What?”_

The redhead rolled her eyes with a sigh. “I don’t have a lot of puff buddies, and the ones I _do_ have can be _so_ plastic sometimes. Getting high isn’t fun unless you’re around the right people and you seem real.”

“You just called me an asshole not even five minutes ago,” Jay told her flatly. 

“An asshole who isn’t full of shit, at least,” she concluded. Then, before Jay could respond, she shoved her phone in their hands. “Give me your number so I can hook you up with my plug; maybe we can go to a kickback sometime.”

Jay stood there in stunned silence for a moment before looking down at the smartphone in their hands. It was the newest model encased in a sleek, velvet red phone case, with a small charm of a Kuromi hanging from it. 

“Well?” she exclaimed, making them jump, “Hurry up, I haven’t got all day!”

‘She’s not serious, right?’ Jay thought. However, as she continued to glare at them, they judiciously decided to type their name and number into the contact screen, looking down intently to avoid her fiery gaze. As soon as they finished, they held the phone back out and she snatched it away.

“Jay, huh?” she said, glancing down at her screen. “Name’s Audrey. Get at me if you wanna make things _crazy_ .” Then, she playfully shoved them aside. “Now, if you don’t mind, could you get the _fuck_ out of my way?” 

As Audrey stepped away from them, the HunieBee buzzed in Jay’s hands and they almost dropped it out of surprise. Fumbling a bit as they righted it in their hands, they looked down at the phone to see a new notification: **_Audrey has been added to the HunieBee!_ **

“No _way!_ ” exclaimed Kyu, making Jay jump again. They turned to see her floating beside them again, a manic grin on her face. “You did it! Well, with _my_ help, of course.” She crossed her arms, still beaming. “I gotta admit; I did _not_ expect you to pull that off.”

“Me, neither,” Jay murmured, still staring down at the phone, “I… can’t _believe_ that just happened.”

“Well, try not to be such an ass next time and you won’t have to worry about it,” she told them, “some girls wouldn’t take too kindly to being called a bitch, you know.”

“Duly noted,” Jay replied sarcastically. Then, they paused in consideration. “So because I made a good impression, the HunieBee added her?”

“Yep!” Kyu answered. She ribbed them again and Jay tried not to wince. “Also, I’m gonna chalk that success up to beginner’s luck, so don’t let it go to your head!”

“Trust me, it won’t,” Jay replied flatly, taking the time to flip through the HunieBee. They blinked with surprise when they saw another profile show up on the Girl Finder. “Hang on… Is that the other girl from the salon?”

Kyu nodded. “Yeah! Since she was in range, the HunieBee started tracking her location, too. So after you're done here with this girl, you can catch up with her.”

“Oh.” Glancing down at it again, Jay’s brows furrowed. “That… feels like it could be taken advantage of…”

_“Relax,”_ Kyu said assuringly, “we have procedures in place to prevent stuff like that from happening.”

“Meaning?” Jay asked.

“Meaning if you try something, your balls are gonna be black _and_ blue,” Kyu responded seriously. 

Jay arched a brow. “I don’t have—”

“You know what I mean!” she exclaimed, smacking their arm. Kyu nudged them towards Audrey, who had paused to look at the mall directory. “C’mon, now’s your chance to take her on a date!”

Jay practically balked. “A _date?_ ”

“Yep!” Kyu replied. She pointed at Audrey. “You go over there and show that bitch a good time!” Her wings fluttered excitedly. “I'm pumped! You pumped?” When Jay didn’t answer immediately, she smacked them playfully. “Yeah, you're pumped! Go get ‘em! I’ll be around, if you need me.” Then, with a giggle, she threw up a peace sign. “Who am I kidding? Of _course_ you need me. Peace!”

And just like that, she disappeared again, although Jay wasn’t certain if she had actually left or just turned invisible again. Looking around cautiously, Jay finally relented on searching for her and looked down at the HunieBee, zoning in on the section that was simply titled “Girls.” They tapped on it and saw a pic of a smiling Audrey. Curious, they tapped on it and went still upon looking at it.

**Most Desired Trait:** Flirtation

**Least Desired Trait:** Romance 

**Loves Gift Type:** Rave

**Unique Gift Type:** Narcotics

**Likes Gift Type:** Toys, Aquarium 

**Likes Food Type:** Junk Food, Fruit

**Favorite Drink:** Daiquiri

**Alcohol Tolerance:** High

“What the fuck?” Jay murmured, staring at the profile. They pressed the right arrow and it flipped to a new page that said “Details,” which had a bunch of empty information slots that were labelled with things like “Last Name” and “Fav Hangout.” Oh, so they could tell them what their favorite types of gifts were and their alcohol tolerance, but not their weight or height? Love fairies had weird information priorities.

Then, the HunieBee buzzed and they saw two new messages appear. They were from… Kyu? She had a HunieBee, too? They shook their head; of _course_ she did, she’s the one who gave Jay their own. Sighing, they looked through the messages. 

**Sent by: Kyu**

**Monday, 01, Morning**

“Before I forget… the ‘Munie’ you earned during our date? You can use that to buy gifts, food and drinks using the store app on the HunieBee. It’ll even detect which gifts the girl you’re talking to prefers and will mark them with an icon. We’ve practically done all the work for you!”

**Sent by: Kyu**

**Monday, 01, Morning**

I’ll make you a deal. Every time you give a girl a gift she LOVES I’ll have one of our interns send you a present, too; something you can use on dates. Ahhh… I’m such a nice person. Err, fairy.

Jay flipped away from the messages to the “Store” section, where they found a litany of items. True to Kyu’s word, some were marked with stars, while a select few were marked with hearts. Jay flipped to the other sections to see the rest of the selection, seeing that stars marked other items, matching the details that were shown in Audrey’s main profile.

This was weird. Truly, deeply _weird_ . They had essentially been given an admittedly powerful piece of technology that gave them the ability to track a girl’s location, learn her likes and preferences before she can even say what they are to Jay, and then buy gifts for them. It couldn’t be _that_ simple, right? It _had_ to be wrong. Flipping back to the “Unique” section of the store, Jay tapped on the starred item: Cigarettes. 

Instantly, the HunieBee buzzed and they jumped when they felt something appear in their pocket. Fearfully, they reached in and pulled out the same pack of cigarettes they had just purchased.

“What the _fuck?_ ” Jay whispered, staring at the pack. Slowly, they turned to where Audrey had stomped off to and saw her standing in front of a mall directory on her phone. Cautiously, they stepped towards her.

“Um, hey,” they said, and Audrey looked up with a grimace, “what’re you doing?”

“Oh,” she said, looking them up and down, “hey.”

Whelp. Here goes nothing. “I, uh, got something for you.”

Audrey blinked, but her glare returned quickly after. “What is it?”

“Um, here.” Fumbling a bit, Jay held out the pack of cigarettes. “You, uh, said you liked to smoke, right?”

To their surprise, Audrey’s eyes lit up. “Holy _shit!_ ” Jay stood there in stunned silence as Audrey snatched the pack away from their hands. “Looks like I made the right choice in wanting to hang out with you…” She grinned as she tucked the pack away. “Just keep surprising me.”

Holy shit, that _worked?_ That… couldn’t be right. It had to be a fluke, right? 

“Are you gonna keep staring at me or are you gonna say something?” Audrey questioned, snapping them out of their thoughts.

“Sorry, I was just… thinking about some stuff.” 

Audrey rolled her eyes. “Whatever. If giving me this is your way of trying to ask me on a date, then you’re gonna have to be a _lot_ more forward than that. If you’re gonna ask, then _ask_.”

“Well, I was just…” Jay began to say, but then they stopped. As much as they weren’t keen on going on a date, let alone withs someone they had just met (and who just seemed generally unpleasant), there was a lot about this that they didn’t understand. Just what could the HunieBee do? Was there more to it than they were seeing? And if they did as Kyu asked, would they get answers?

“Just _what?_ ” Audrey exclaimed.

Jay took a deep breath. “I was just wondering if… you would like to go on a date, actually.”

Then, to their weird mixture of relief and dread, Audrey replied with, “ _Pffft…_ Alright, let's just get this over with.”

Jay’s hand clenched around the HunieBee. What had they gotten themselves _into?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the Audrey stans who are worried you won't get to see her, don't worry, I have plans for her in this fic. Right now, I'm focusing on Jay getting to meet our lovely cast of ladies (including some of the secret girls, but they don't show up until later). 
> 
> Stay tuned~


	3. Work It Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay finishes their date with Audrey and goes to meet the hairstylist at the fitness gym.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone, I'm back with another chapter. As the summary suggests, Jay's gonna be meeting our girl Kyanna this chapter. I really enjoyed writing their interactions, by the way; Kyanna deserves some love.

Jay was very thankful that Audrey didn’t seem to mind them being on their “phone,” AKA, the HunieBee, throughout their date, seeing as she was a phone addict herself. As the pair walked through the mall together, she took a lot of Instagram photos (not with them, thankfully), occasionally stopping to ask Jay their opinion on some good hashtags before returning her attention back to her smartphone. Although Audrey always seemed to find something to complain about, Jay managed to tune it out like the mall’s music. Aside from that, it went… pretty alright, by Jay’s standards. 

As the two circled back to the center of the mall, Jay flipped back to the “Details” section of Audrey’s profile and looked at all of the empty slots. 

_‘Do I just ask her and then put it in the HunieBee?’_ Jay mused, staring down at it. They glanced back over at Audrey, who was replying to a commenter on her page, and then back at the HunieBee.

“Hey, what’s your last name?” Jay asked, causing Audrey to look up from her phone. “I was just wondering so I knew what to put in for my phone contacts.”

Audrey rolled her eyes. “Belrose. Happy?”

The HunieBee buzzed in their hands and Jay looked down to see the previously empty slot beneath “Last Name” was now occupied by “Belrose.” A notification banner stretched across the top of the phone screen that simply read: **_“You learned Audrey’s last name!”_ **

“What the fuck?” Jay whispered.

 _“What?”_ Audrey asked and Jay nearly jumped. “What’s your deal?”

“S-Sorry, I just got a weird text from a friend, is all,” they replied, setting their phone down. It was certainly easier than trying to explain everything that had happened within the past 24 hours, especially considering they were still on the fence about the validity of it all. 

Audrey groaned. “ _Tell_ me about it. My friend Nikki likes to send me weird internet stories about government conspiracies.” She set her phone down with a snort. “She also thinks _aliens_ exist, the weirdo.”

 _‘Well, I know love fairies are a thing, so maybe it’s not that far-fetched after all,’_ Jay thought to themself. “Is Nikki one of your puff buddies?”

“ _God_ , no!” Audrey exclaimed, laughing a bit. “Nikki isn’t much of a party girl. I don’t usually invite her to parties unless Tiffany can’t come.” She glanced at her phone. “And since it’s a Monday, Tiffany’s gonna have late cheer practice, so I _guess_ I’m taking her with me to _Lustie’s_ tonight.” She glanced at them. “That is, unless _you_ wanna come with?”

Jay tensed up. “I… I don’t know? I mean, I got nothing going on, but—”

“If you don’t wanna come, you don’t _have_ to,” Audrey snapped. She went back to typing on her phone. “I honestly don’t care either way. If you _do_ show up, though, don’t expect me to lose my mind over it.”

That… was weirdly reassuring? Jay had been forced out of their comfort zone a lot within the past 24 hours, so it was nice not to have pressure on another social outing. “Good to know.”

Audrey didn’t opt for a response and Jay held back a sigh before settling their attention ahead of them. The two of them continued walking a bit for a bit longer before finally settling in front of a seating area at the center of the mall and Audrey unceremoniously plopped down with her shopping bags at her feet. Jay hesitantly took a seat beside her, unsure of what else to do. Then, the HunieBee buzzed and they glanced down to see another message from Kyu. Rather than look at it, however, they opted to ignore it. 

**Sent by: Kyu**

**Monday, 01, Morning**

Every date you go on is gonna be more challenging than the last. If you don’t improve your traits, you’re gonna blow it, trust me. You can use the “Hunie” you earn from interacting with girls to upgrade your traits app.

They looked at their Hunie count and saw that it was just over 1,000. Jay flipped back to the “Traits” section and saw eight different trait upgrades, with traits like “Talent,” “Flirtation,” “Romance,” “Sexuality,” “Passion,” “Sensitivity,” Charisma each one costing 1,500 Hunie each. 

_‘What the hell?’_ Jay thought, staring down at it in bewilderment. All they had to do was tap on a button and it would improve their personality traits just like that? Not only that, but they could pay for it with Hunie that they earned from just… talking to someone? That was a _weird_ reward system. 

Well, it wasn’t like they had enough Hunie to pay for an upgrade anyway, so there wasn’t any use worrying about it just yet. They flipped back to Audrey’s profile and went back to her details page, where so many of the slots were still left empty. 

They looked over at Audrey. “When’s your birthday, so I don’t forget?” Jay asked tentatively.

Audrey looked up from her phone with an arched brow. “Why do _you_ care?”

“Um,” Jay stammered, “I dunno, maybe you could make a hashtag about your Zodiac?”

That seemed to appease her, since Audrey answered with, “April sixth.” She turned back to her phone. “Actually, _do_ forget it.”

 _‘So she’s an Aries,’_ Jay thought, _‘that checks out.’_ As she went back to typing, the HunieBee buzzed and Jay looked down to see a notification that read: **_“You learned Audrey’s birthday!”_ ** They opened the HunieBee up and confirmed that Audrey’s birthday had been added to the previously empty entry. _‘Well, I’ll be damned.’_

“You don’t have to sit here if you don’t want to,” Audrey said suddenly, startling their attention away from their phone, “if you wanna leave, you’re free to. I’m not gonna get mad at you for having shit to do.”

“Uh, right,” Jay said. They stood up from the bench. “I guess I’ll see you later?”

“Uh, bye!” Audrey replied, turning back to her phone. “Thanks for the cigs, I guess.”

“Oh! You’re welcome.” And with that, Jay awkwardly shuffled away and Audrey went back to her phone. As soon as they made their way around the corner to a different corridor, they let out a deep breath they hadn’t realized they’d been holding. That wasn’t so bad, after all. At the very least, they’d have to get a good nap in once they got ho—

“You heading to the gym now?” asked Kyu, making Jay nearly jump out of their skin. 

_“Jesus Christ on a skateboard!”_ they exclaimed and quickly froze when people stopped to stare. Blushing furiously, they ducked their head and started power walking through the crowd; hopefully Audrey didn’t see or hear that. “Kyu, you _have_ to stop doing that.”

“Sorry!” she laughed, floating after them. “I forgot how jumpy you get. Also, nice work on getting the megabitch to chill out. I was worried she’d eat you alive back there.”

“Yeah, well, I’m glad that’s over,” Jay replied, sighing a bit, “I’m gonna need a _long_ nap after this.”

“Hell, no!” Kyu proclaimed. She floated to where she was in front of Jay, blocking their way. “You gotta go to the gym and chat up that hairstylist!”

Jay blinked. “Huh? Since when did she go to the gym?”

“Megabitch was her last appointment of the day,” Kyu explained, “so she left and made her way to the gym. Did you even _check_ the Girl Finder?”

Curious, Jay looked down at the HunieBee and confirmed that the hairstylist’s location had indeed changed to the gym. “Shit. Guess that date went on longer than I thought it did.”

“Time flies when you’re pulling hoes,” Kyu said simply. She nudged them. “Want me to give you a lift to the gym?”

“Do I have a choice?” When Kyu’s response was a steely glare, Jay sighed. “OK, fine. I guess I’m going to the gym…”

“C’mon, perk up!” Kyu encouraged. “You think you’re gonna get any ladies with that sort of attitude?”

“I want to go home and take a nap,” Jay said flatly.

“And people in hell want ice water. Now shut up, we’re leaving!”  
  


* * *

Jay had barely a moment to process it before they found themselves at the local gym. Man, fairy travel was going to take some _serious_ getting used to.

“Don’t expect me to give you a lift everytime you gotta go somewhere,” Kyu warned, as if she could read their mind, “I’m only helping you now so we can speedrun through the introductions.”

Jay grimaced. “How many girls do you plan for me to _meet_ today?”

“A good few,” Kyu answered, and her face soured when Jay’s frown deepened, “c’mon, it’s good practice! Plus, this way you’ll know who you’re dealing with before you go on your second date.”

“That’s oddly optimistic of you,” Jay muttered.

 _“Hey,”_ Kyu scolded gently, “I’ll make a player out of you yet. But for now, let’s focus on introducing you to our lovely cast of ladies.”

Jay sighed. “What is this, the Bachelor?” 

“Haha, funny stuff,” Kyu said without a trace of humor, “how about you head inside and get acquainted with the lovely stylist waiting inside for you?”

Without much choice in the matter, Jay did as Kyu said and walked inside of the gym. They tried to ignore the strange looks that people gave them as they shuffled in with their outfit that was clearly not suited for working out and ducked their head down. Maybe if they didn’t find her right away, they’d be able to just leave and head home.

“Psst, target spotted!” Kyu hissed, making Jay’s shoulders slump. “Three o’clock! Look alive, private!”

Much to Jay’s chagrin, they turned to their right and saw the hairstylist in question. Her apron was gone from sight, allowing them to see the full view of her striped, blue tank top and her navy shorts. She was talking to another girl who looked a bit younger than her, dressed in a school uniform with her blonde hair pulled into pigtails by matching red ribbons. The stylist appeared to be in better spirits, smiling vibrantly as she spoke to the blonde.

“Hey, listen,” they heard the stylist say as they drew closer, “thanks _soooo_ much for watching Philip the other day. I know it was last minute.”

“No, don’t mention it!” the blonde replied, still beaming. “I love to hang out with Philly. He’s my little buddy!”

The stylist’s brows furrowed as if she weren’t entirely doubtless, but her smile didn’t fade. “Did he give you any trouble?” 

“Nope!” the blonde chirped. “Like an angel!” 

At that, the stylist laughed. “An _angel?_ Are you sure you were watching the right kid?” When the blonde laughed, the stylist’s smile faltered a bit. “I know I still owe you, too, so don’t worry. I should be getting my paycheck tomorrow.”

Hearing that made Jay flinch. They had been in that place once before, struggling to make ends meet just to survive; they could imagine how much harder it must be with a kid to think about, too. Then, they thought back to Audrey’s disparaging remarks back at the mall salon and tried not to outwardly wince. 

“ _Shhh_ , I won’t hear of it!” the blonde chided, waving a hand nonchalantly. “I was _more_ than happy to help out!”

“Nonsense!” the stylist replied. “I’m not taking no for an answer!”

“Too late!” the blonde shot back playfully. Before the stylist could respond, the blonde turned on heel and started power walking away. “Have a good workout!”

The stylist blinked with surprise and called out, “Hey, get back here! This isn’t over!”

As the stylist called after her laughing friend, Kyu leaned over to say, “Man, will you get a load of these two? I’d _kill_ to have tits like that.” 

“ _Jesus_ , Kyu,” Jay whispered, trying not to raise their voice.

Kyu laughed. “What? She can’t _hear_ me!”

Jay grimaced. “Yeah, but _I_ can.”

“A blessing you have yet to appreciate,” Kyu retorted, grinning a bit, “besides, that is to say that this girl seems like she’s _way_ out of your league.”

“Aren’t they all?” Jay murmured, fighting the urge to roll their eyes. 

Kyu frowned and nudged them in the ribs. “You didn’t let me finish; She seems like she’s out of your league, _but_ there may be hope yet.” She spared a glance at the stylist, who finally gave up on trying to get her friend’s attention and had turned her focus back to her workout. “She’s probably looking for someone decent because of all that baby mama drama, so try not to be snarky while you talk to her.”

Jay thought back to the altercation between Audrey and the stylist, recalling the calm, yet seething anger that ebbed from her, then spared a look at the stylist as she worked through a rep at a weight lifting machine. “I’ll keep that in mind…”

“Hmmm?” the stylist said, looking up from her rep. Much to Jay’s terror, she turned towards them. “Did you say something?”

“Oh, she’s looking this way!” Kyu exclaimed, grinning. _“Showtime!”_

As Kyu faded from view, the stylist sat up and looked at Jay in confusion. “Were you asking me something?”

“Um, no,” Jay said, looking away, “I was just, uh, saying I’d have to keep this place in mind for the future…”

“Oh!” the stylist said, laughing a bit. She climbed up from her seat and stood up. “You must be new here. I don’t think we’ve met before, right?” 

“No, we haven’t,” Jay replied, judiciously deciding not to bring up having been witness to her fight with Audrey, “I’m not really a regular at the gym.”

The stylist smiled. “That’s alright. Besides, I would hope that if you _were_ a regular, I’d recognize you. I’m on a first name basis with almost everyone who comes here.” Her smile turned sheepish. “I guess you could say I’m a _little_ obsessed with this place.” She held out her hand. “My name is Kyanna. Will I be seeing you here more often?”

The HunieBee buzzed in Jay’s pocket as they took Kyanna’s hand, likely announcing her addition to it. They shook her hand for a moment before pulling it away suddenly. “Shit, sorry, my hand is probably sweaty.”

Kyanna laughed. “Hey, that’s cool, mine are, too. Guess this makes us sweat buddies!”

Jay couldn’t help but grin at that. “My name is Jay. And… I _guess_ I’ll be coming down here a bit more in the future.” Kyu likely wouldn’t give them a choice otherwise… 

“Cool!” Kyanna replied. Then, her eyes lit up. “Oh, you know what? You should try one of the yoga classes they do here! It’s _great_ for beginners and the instructor is _awesome_. I think you’d dig it!”

“I’ll be sure to check it out.” Jay glanced over at the workout equipment. “I guess you need to get back to working out, huh? I’ll leave you to it.”

“Hmm?” Kyanna turned back to where she was prior and then looked back at Jay. “Oh, right!” She laughed. “I forgot what I was doing for a second.”

“It’s cool, I do that, too,” Jay assured her. They paused in consideration. “Hey, uh, would you happen to know where the sign-up for that yoga class is?”

Kyanna beamed at that. “Oh, there isn’t really a sign-up for the class, per se, since this isn’t a membership gym. There _is_ a sheet that has all the info on it up front at the bulletin board by the clerk’s desk, though.”

Jay held their smile. “I’ll be sure to check it out. Thanks, Kyanna.”

“No prob!” she replied. Then, she jerked a thumb behind her. “I gotta get back to my workout, but if you want to learn more about the classes, then come talk to me again. Beli’s out right now.”

“Beli?”

“The instructor,” Kyanna clarified, “she’s a _total_ sweetheart. I go to her classes everyday, so I can probably answer any questions you might have.”

“Well, then, I’ll be sure to direct them to you.” Jay gave her a relaxed, albeit awkward salute. “I’ll let you get back to your workout, now.”

“See ya,” Kyanna replied, mimicking Jay’s salute with a grin. 

Jay gave her a single nod before turning around and heading back to the entrance of the gym, holding their posture until they made it through the threshold. As soon as they were out of view, they sighed and let their shoulders sag. 

“Nicely done, rookie,” commented Kyu, appearing at their side as they leaned against the wall, “the signing up for the yoga class was a bold move, but I dig your dedication! Chicks _love_ someone in touch with their body.” When Jay barely tilted their head to regard her, she frowned. “Jeez, you look worn out. Buck up, kiddo, the day’s barely begun!”

“This is the most socialization I’ve done in _months_ ,” Jay murmured, keeping watch of people nearby, “I haven’t had to mask this much since _college_.”

Kyu rolled her eyes. “Right… Look, can you cut the mopeyness out? You’re not gonna be winning any ladies’ hearts with that sort of attitude.” She nudged them gently. “Why don’t you go look at the info sheet for that class, since you’re already here? Yoga classes are sure to be _ripe_ with some _lovely_ fruit for the picking.”

“You’re a degenerate,” Jay said simply.

“Damn right I am,” Kyu replied, “now go check out that class!” 

Jay closed their eyes and exhaled out their nose. Finally, when they opened them, they stepped away from the wall and walked over to the bulletin board. With a tired resignation, Jay lazily skimmed it over before their eyes settled on a sheet that had a woman sitting cross-legged. 

Try Our Yoga Classes Today!

Begin your journey to a better life with 

Peace, love, beauty & happiness!

Classes are taught by:

Beli Lapran, Certified Yoga Instructor

Classes available on

Mon-Wed-Fri: 9:30-10:30

Tuesday-Thursday: 1:30-2:30 & 5:30-6:30

“You could start with the afternoon and evening classes,” Kyu suggested, breaking their attention away from the flyer. Then, with a cheeky grin, she added, “since you’re such a grump in the morning.”

Jay tried their best not to roll their eyes. “Maybe if I didn’t get woken up in the middle of the night, that wouldn’t be an _issue_.”

Kyu chuckled. “You’ll thank me for it later, champ.”

Standing upright, Jay turned away from the bulletin board. As they were getting ready to walk away, however, they recalled the fact that the HunieBee had added Kyanna to it. Curious, they opened it up and scrolled towards her profile to look it over. 

**Most Desired Trait:** Talent

 **Least Desired Trait:** Romance 

**Loves Gift Type:** Fitness

 **Unique Gift Type:** Mexico

 **Likes Gift Type:** Yoga, Dancer

 **Likes Food Type:** Veggies, Breakfast

 **Favorite Drink:** Pina Colada

 **Alcohol Tolerance:** Low

Arching a brow, they flipped to her details page and saw that it was exactly how Audrey’s was when she was first registered; completely blank. 

“Only one way to fill it out,” Kyu sang, “go give our lovely lady a nice chat!”

“She’s busy,” Jay said quietly.

Then, as if on cue, they heard a voice say, “Oh, hey Jay!”

Holding back the urge to frown, Jay turned around to see Kyanna step into the waiting area, her hand out in a gentle wave. 

“Bless serendipity for this sweet gift,” Kyu murmured, flashing Jay a grin, “good luck, rookie!”

As soon as she disappeared, Jay turned their attention to Kyanna. “Uh, hey. I thought you were working out?”

Kyanna smiled. “I was actually just finishing up my last few reps at the machine before heading out. Besides, I wanted to see if you were still here, in case you needed to ask me something.”

 _‘God, she’s so nice,’_ Jay thought, _‘no wonder she and Audrey don’t get along.’_

“Thanks for checking in,” Jay replied aloud, bringing forth a small smile, “sorry for interrupting you earlier, though. Wouldn’t want to get in the way of an athlete’s routine.”

Kyanna laughed and waved a hand nonchalantly. “No, no, I’m not an athlete! I just like to stay in shape, is all. It’s kinda hard to break into the acting scene if you don’t keep a good health routine.” 

Jay arched a brow. “You’re an actress?”

Kyanna nodded. “Mmhmm, I sure am!” She paused in consideration. “Well, at least, I’m _trying_ to be. I’ve only managed to land small spots on local commercials.” Her smile faltered. “As much as I enjoy it, the job doesn’t pay well and… well, I got a kid to think about, you know?”

Jay couldn’t help but smile sympathetically. “I get it. Nothing is ever as easy as we want, huh?” They knew that much from their own experience, at least. “But it’s cool that you’re chasing after what you want, even if it’s hard.”

Her smile returned to its normal brightness at that. “Thanks, dude. That’s… nice to hear, actually.” She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, showing off her gold, heart-shaped earring. “I had a bit of a sucky morning, so hearing that… kinda cheered me up, not gonna lie.”

Her shouting match with Audrey came to the forefront of Jay’s mind and they grimaced. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“No, it’s fine,” Kyanna reassured them, “it was just some girl at my job— my _real_ job— who threw a fit because she didn’t like how I did her hair.” She sighed as she rolled her eyes. “Even though it’s the exact same way I cut her hair every single time she comes in.”

“Sounds like a Karen in the making,” Jay commented. 

Kyanna chuckled at that. “Got _that_ right. Maybe the next time she comes in, I should give her the haircut to match!”

Jay snorted. “But then she’ll ask for your manager.”

Kyanna snorted and brought a hand to her mouth to cover her laughter. _“Right?”_

Was it shitty to talk about Audrey while she wasn’t there? Yes. Did that stop Jay from joining in on laughing with Kyanna? Absolutely _not_. After having to deal with her the first thing that morning and going on a date with her at Kyu’s insistence, Jay felt entitled to it.

Once Kyanna managed to get her laughter in control, she let out a sigh. “Oh, _dios mio_ , I _needed_ that… Thanks for that.”

Jay felt their cheeks warm up and their eyes fell away from Kyanna. “Heh, it’s no big deal… She just sounds like a real piece of work, is all.”

Kyanna’s smile faltered. “Yeah… She also said some… really shitty stuff back when she was yelling at me and… I know she only said it to get a reaction out of me, but it still hurt to _hear_ , you know?” 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Jay asked without thinking and then almost slapped themself for it. Christ, why couldn’t they just leave well enough _alone?_ It wasn’t their place to meddle in other people’s lives, let alone strangers; they learned _that_ the hard way. 

“Actually…” Kyanna began, looking off a bit, “I would. Like to talk about it, I mean.” She held up a hand. “That is, if you’re cool with that?”

Jay almost declined the offer. However, as they looked at Kyanna’s face, they couldn’t bring themself to say no. They didn’t know Kyanna well, but they knew well enough to know when someone else needed help with something, even if it was something as small as getting to talk. 

_‘You’re just doing this to keep Kyu off your back,’_ Jay told themself, _‘that’s all. Just let her vent. You don’t have to put yourself out too much.’_

“Sure,” Jay said finally, “wanna take a walk?”

* * *

Kyu had to admit that the newbie was exceeding her expectations, if only by a little bit. When they had gone on their date with Audrey, she was (reasonably) worried when Jay seemed to falter at Audrey’s bluntness and even matched her attitude. But, to their credit, Jay had done well to keep things going and had appeased her by giving her a gift (thank Venus for the HunieBee), and even managed to end things on a nice note with the possibility of seeing her again. 

Now, she had the pleasure of watching her protege walk side by side with Kyanna, who was easily one of the hottest moms Kyu had laid eyes on. She wasn’t sure _what_ the baby daddy did to fuck up a good thing like _that_ , but she hoped he regretted it every single day as she followed the pair down the farmer’s market. 

Jay wasn’t a social butterfly, Kyu knew, and she could tell that just _talking_ to the girls was a struggle for them. However, they had surprised her by taking the emotional support angle and simply opting to listen while Kyanna rambled about her problems (you heard one baby mama’s drama, you heard ‘em all, in Kyu’s book). While Kyu struggled to listen to her drone on, however, Jay seemed to be rapt with attention.

“Good on you, rookie,” Kyu said to herself, smiling a bit, “keep it up.”

“I don’t really get to talk about stuff like this,” Kyanna admitted, turning towards Jay as they rounded a stall and made their way through the crowd, “I mean, I just don’t usually feel comfortable talking about it at _all_ , you know?”

Jay nodded. “I get it. You don’t want people to feel caught up, right?”

Kyanna smiled softly. “Yeah… I mean, I have friends and family to talk to but… I don’t want to _burden_ anyone with my problems.” She sighed. “And now I’m talking to someone I _just_ met about my problems. Way to go, Kyanna.”

“I don’t mind it,” Jay replied, and it struck Kyu just how _sincere_ it sounded, “but if your friends care about you, I’m sure they won’t mind, either. What about that girl I saw you talking to earlier?”

“Oh, Tiffany?” Kyanna asked. Ah, so that was the lovely blonde’s name, then? Jay was gonna have fun chatting her up once they went to the University. Kyanna’s smile faltered and she sighed. “Don’t get me wrong, she’s one of my best friends, but… You know that girl I was telling you about from my job?”

“Audrey?” Jay repeated. Kyu was thankful they didn’t give off the impression they already knew her. “What about her?”

“Well…” Kyanna began, trailing off for a moment. Then, she took a deep breath. “She and Tiffany are friends.”

Kyu’s eyes widened. Megabitch had people who _wanted_ to hang around her? Huh, go figure. Jay, on the other hand, was more reserved when they simply responded with, _“Oh.”_

“‘Oh,’ is right,” Kyanna lamented. She looked away from Jay and faced forward. “I don’t want to make her feel _bad_ for hanging out with her, but… _Dios mio_ , that girl drives me _insane_ and I just wish I could…” She clenched her hands in front of her into small fists and let out a small growl. Then, she took a deep breath and exhaled, unclenching her fists and letting them fall to her sides. “The only reason I didn’t rock her shit earlier today is because I _knew_ Tiffany would get upset with me and it’s just… _not_ worth it.”

“What _is_ Audrey’s problem with you anyway?” Jay questioned. When Kyanna didn’t respond immediately, they held up their hands. “You don’t have to answer, but… Well, it seems like you two have some _history_ , is all.”

Kyanna sighed. “You _could_ say that… We… used to be friends, believe it or not.”

“Holy shit, really?” Kyu said aloud. Oh, this was a juicy addition to the drama. 

Jay seemed to think the same thing, because they responded similarly with, “holy shit, _really?_ ”

“Really.” Kyanna faced them again. “Way back before I had Philip, we used to go to school together and party.” Her eyes fell downcast. “But then a whole bunch of stuff happened and it all blew up and we had a big fallout over it and we just…”

“Grew apart?” Jay finished.

“That’s a nice way of putting it, but… yeah.” Kyanna sighed and met Jay’s gaze. “Sorry, this just got really heavy all of a sudden, didn’t it? Wanna talk about something else?” 

Jay nodded. “Yeah, sure. How about… you tell me what kind of commercials you’ve been in?”

Kyanna smiled at that. “Well, if you’re curious, my _first_ one was on a local news network selling towels…”

As the pair slipped into small talk while they walked through the farmer’s market, Kyu couldn’t help but smile. She didn’t feel the need to listen to the rest of the conversation as the both of them started making their way back to the gym and she batted her wings to float higher above the crowd before taking off towards the gym.

“Nicely done, rookie,” she said to herself, flying ahead, “can’t wait to see what you do next.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I deduced the times for Beli's classes and Kyanna's attendance based on their weekly schedules from HuniePop. Beli is always at the gym on mornings Mon, Wed, and Fri, and she's there at afternoons and evenings on Tues and Thurs; Kyanna is there for all the classes, save for the evening ones on Tues and Thurs. (Spoiler alert: another girl is in these classes, too, just not as frequently.)
> 
> Yes, I hc that Kyanna and Audrey used to be friends. This is because in the HuniePop art collection, there's some photos of the two of them having fun and partying together. I know I'm not the only one with this headcanon, but I still wanted to incorporate it here. 
> 
> Also, note: I've noticed some people think Kyanna's pregnancy is why she dropped out, but since she's 21 and Philip's one year old, she had him when she was 20 and was probably 19 at the youngest when she was pregnant, so I doubt that's why. That will be getting addressed, as well. 
> 
> Take care, lovely people~


	4. Good Ol' Glenberry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay takes a trip down to the University.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for description of anxiety and panic

The walk back to the gym was alright, if not a bit tiring for Jay. As soon as the pair made it back inside, Jay welcomed the cool air conditioning blasting down upon them and it took a lot of self control not to audibly sigh with relief. Maybe wearing their hoodie wasn’t a smart decision, after all.

“Oh, crap, is it that time already?” Kyanna said suddenly, startling Jay. They turned to see her phone in her hand before she let out a ragged sigh. “I gotta head back to the salon… I have another appointment.”

Jay smiled sympathetically. “Hey, at least it’s not Audrey, right?”

Kyanna smiled back, though her brows remained furrowed. “You’re right about that, at least… Sorry to bail, though. I had fun talking to you.”

“It’s cool,” Jay assured her, “and I had fun talking to you, too.”

 _‘But I’m gonna need to take a long nap after this,’_ Jay admitted internally, _‘haven’t had this much social interaction since college.’_

“Hey, what’s your number?” Kyanna asked. Jay must have looked surprised, because she held up her hands. “No, not like that! I was just asking in case you had any questions about the gym.”

“Ah.” Jay held out their hand. “Here, I’ll put my number in for you.’

Kyanna handed her phone over to Jay and they quickly slipped their contact information inside of it before handing it back. “Thanks, dude. Hopefully I’ll be seeing you here more often?”

“If I can manage it,” Jay joked, “exercise is a bit of a foreign concept to me, at times.”

“Well, we can fix that for you here,” Kyanna replied. She playfully punched their arm. “I’ll make a regular out of you yet.”

Jay chuckled. “So you say… Hopefully your next appointment won’t be a Karen.”

Kyanna laughed. “Can’t be worse than an _Audrey_.” She offered up a small two finger salute. “I’ll see you around, alright?”

Jay mirrored her gesture. “Sure thing.”

Kyanna gave one last smile before turning and heading back towards what Jay assumed to be the locker rooms. Jay turned back towards the entrance and strode outside, pulling out their HunieBee to look over Kyanna’s profile again. 

“Nice work, buddy,” Kyu beamed, making Jay jump a bit and nearly drop the HunieBee. God, they _still_ weren’t used to that. “You really played into that _attentive_ angle, huh?”

“It wasn’t an angle,” Jay replied, frowning a bit, “she just sounded like she needed to vent, is all.”

Kyu rolled her eyes. “ _Riiiight…_ So, you're heading to the university now, right?”

Jay blinked. “Huh? Why?”

“Check the girl finder, bud!” Kyu told them. “You got that lovely blonde to chat up and she’s waiting for you at the University.”

It took an awful lot for Jay not to sigh heavily. That’s right, the HunieBee probably added Tiffany when they came in and overheard her conversation with Kyanna. When would it end? 

“I was really hoping for a nap at this point,” Jay admitted, “I didn’t sleep at all last night, remember?”

Kyu crossed her arms. “Neither did I and I’m just peachy!”

Jay’s expression turned deadpan. “You’re a _fairy_ , Kyu. Do you even _need_ to sleep?”

“Jeez, you humans and your sleep!” Kyu exclaimed. “And you wonder why you’ve never managed a date before meeting me.”

“Didn’t _have_ to wonder,” Jay muttered, pulling out the HunieBee, “where did you say she was, again? Maybe I can find a way to sneak in a power nap while we’re there.”

Kyu placed her hand over the HunieBee and forced it down as she leaned forward. “No power naps! You’re not gonna be pulling in any game if you’re too busy sleeping!”

Jay sighed. “Can I at least catch _one_ after this one?”

“We’ll go to the cafe later and get you an espresso,” Kyu relented, sighing a bit, “there, happy?”

“Only if you’re paying.” Jay pulled the HunieBee away from her grasp and flipped to the girl finder. As they hovered over Tiffany’s smiling profile, which had yet to display her name, for whatever reason, the words “University Campus” appeared above it in a small text bubble. Instantly, they froze. “We’re going to _U.O.G.?_ ”

Kyu arched a brow. “Do you know any other university here in town?”

“N-No, but--” 

“Venus, you’re a _mess_ ,” Kyu commented, sighing once again, “look, buckle up, bud, we got a lovely girl waiting down there for you.”

 _‘Oh, that’s not good,’_ Jay thought, and they could already feel their heart rate raising, _‘I can’t go back there, not now, not after—’_

“We can’t go,” Jay blurted out, clutching the HunieBee tightly. How long had it been since they had been on campus? A year? Maybe longer? Dozens of thoughts raced through their mind, yet none of them proved helpful as a tremor in their hand threatened their hold on the HunieBee. 

“Why not?” Kyu questioned. She crossed her arms. “C’mon, why the hesitation?”

“I…” Jay tried to say, but no matter how badly they wanted to say it, the words wouldn’t come out. How could they properly verbalize what they were feeling when it was coming down all at once? They hadn’t planned on going back to the university, _period_ . Now they were being thrown back into the deep end without a lifeline. “I just don’t think it’s a good _idea_ , is all…”

“You’ve been saying that all day,” Kyu responded flatly, “and that hasn’t stopped me yet, so we’re _going_.”

“She’s probably in class,” Jay added quickly, hoping that would assuage her. Their stomach churned and they inhaled deeply, hoping to untwist the knot that was forming. Were their fingers going numb? It was hard to tell. “Maybe I can go home and try again la—”

A blink was all it took and suddenly, they weren’t at the gym anymore. The sidewalk pavement turned into terracotta brick beneath their feet, spanning up until it reached weathered stone stairs. With wide eyes, their gaze went straight ahead to see that the downtown buildings were gone from sight and that the only building in view was the origin of some of Jay’s worst nightmares.

The University of Glenberry, home to the town’s main sports attraction and community events, was well beloved by the townsfolk. One of the better secondary education opportunities for counties around, transfers from all over came down to pursue degrees for their respective fields and become notable alumni that would donate their future income to the school. 

Jay was not such an alumni. In fact, they weren’t an alumni at all. They might have been, had things gone better for them, but instead—

“Alright, she’s sure to be here somewhere,” Kyu asserted, though her voice sounded so far away. She turned to face Jay. “C’mon, let’s— _Whoa_ , dude, are you _good?_ ”

Jay swallowed, but their mouth felt so dry, it did nothing. This was the _last_ place they wanted to be at and here they were, dragged here by a love fairy whose very existence was vexing enough to warrant a mental breakdown of its own. Speaking of, oh, _God_ , were they about to have another one? That wasn’t good considering they were in public. 

_‘Five things you can see,’_ Jay recalled, trying to keep their breathing together, _‘just focus on your surroundings and you should be fine.’_

But, as they tried to find things to concentrate on, their gaze grew fuzzy. They blinked and black spots joined their vision, blotting in and out of the corners like an old film reel. They brought a hand to their face— oh, God, they were sweating a _lot_ , they should really find a place to sit down. Staggering a bit, they took a step forward, but the knots in their stomach made their knees feel so weak. 

A pair of hands went to their shoulder. “Jay, are you—” 

They didn’t get to hear the rest of Kyu’s question before their vision went dark. With labored breaths, their eyes fluttered open and they winced as light stabbed into their retinas. Their eyelids screwed shut and they threw an arm up to shield them. Then, to their surprise, they felt someone grab a hold of their forearm. 

“Who…” Jay tried to say, but their voice trailed off as a deep, throbbing pain shot through their head. 

“Oh, thank _God_ ,” exhaled a voice. Then, the hand that clutched their arm rested it beside their head before letting go. “Hey, try not to move, okay? You hit your head _really_ hard.”

 _‘My head?’_ Jay thought. Then, another throb rocked their skull and they tensed up. _‘Yeah, sounds about right…’_

“It was quite a fall,” said another voice. “Jesus, are they _okay?_ ”

A hand slid up to Jay’s jawline. “Are you breathing alright? Are you able to speak?”

“I… guess?” Jay answered. They tried to open their eyes again and were very thankful when the sun didn’t blind them that time around, but were very surprised when they saw a pair of baby blue eyes looking down at them. Blinking, their vision slowly started to lose its shakiness and they saw familiar blonde hair focus into view. “What the…?”

“It’s okay, you’ll be alright,” Tiffany reassured them. She smiled, although it was a bit shaky. “You regained consciousness pretty quickly, so we don’t need to call an ambulance, at least.”

“I was _unconscious?_ ” Jay questioned, then regretted it when another wave of pain hit them. 

“You fainted,” said another voice, and Jay blinked in surprise when they saw another woman over them directly across from Tiffany. From her green blazer and the way she pinned up her black hair, Jay almost would have mistaken for a staff member were it not for the fact that she was wearing a white crop top underneath it. A black, silk tie rested around her neck loosely, extending past the hem of her white shirt. “You good down there?”

Jay winced. “Did I really _faint?_ ”

“Yeah, you did,” Tiffany answered, laughing a bit awkwardly before stopping suddenly. “Sorry, I’m not laughing at _you_ , I just tend to laugh when I’m nervous. But, yeah, you fainted.”

Kyu’s face popped into view in between the two women’s, her twintails hanging around her face. “Yeah, you _totally_ fainted. But, hey! At least blondie here is giving you first aid!”

“Fuck me running…” Jay muttered, closing their eyes. 

“Hey, stay with me now,” Tiffany chided, “don’t want you slipping back into unconsciousness, okay?”

Jay chuckled humorlessly. “That’s what I get for missing my naptime…”

Tiffany laughed. “Well, at least you’re _coherent_. That’s good.” She turned towards the other woman. “Ms. Yumi, you think you could help me get them to the nurse’s office? I don’t know how long it’ll take them to come down here and I don’t think they have any equipment to carry students to the office, anyhow.”

“Nice budgeting priorities,” Jay joked.

A laugh escaped Ms. Yumi. “ _Tell_ me about it! Hope they have fun once they get sued.”

“It’s not _that_ serious,” Tiffany said, though her brows were furrowed in worry, “listen, I’m gonna sit you up, alright? Tell me if you’re having any trouble breathing or feel nauseous.”

“Will do,” Jay replied, and they would have given her a salute to go with it if they could have. 

“Alrighty.” Tiffany nodded at Ms. Yumi. “Put a hand on their back and slowly tilt them forward until they’re sitting up. Then, we’re gonna try standing you up. You good with that?”

Jay gave what they hoped to be a smile, but likely came across as a grimace.“As good as I can be with a concussion.”

“Can’t be that concussed if you’re cracking jokes,” Ms. Yumi observed aloud as she slipped her palm behind Jay’s back to meet Tiffany’s own. 

“Better than cracking my skull,” Jay replied, and then instantly winced, “yeah, alright, cutting that out now…”

“Ready?” Tiffany asked, and when Jay nodded, she looked to Ms. Yumi. “On the count of three.” Her hand tensed behind Jay’s back. “One, two, _three_.”

Slowly, Jay was moved forward and they managed to sit upright with little difficulty, though the pounding didn’t go away. They clutched their head and groaned, blinking their eyes open. Tiffany and Ms. Yumi were both on either side of them with concerned looks, while Kyu seemed to have disappeared from view, at least to Jay.

“Think you can stand?” Tiffany questioned.

“I _think_ so…” They went suddenly still. “No one… else saw that, right?”

Ms. Yumi smiled sympathetically. “No, everyone else is in class right now.” Relief washed over Jay _instantaneously_ . “But thankfully Tiffany and I were here when you took your spill.” Her brows furrowed. “You _sure_ you’re alright?”

“As good as I can be,” Jay answered, rubbing their head, “I… think I can try standing up now.”

“Great,” Tiffany said. She brought her other hand to Jay’s and slipped her fingers through theirs. “Alright, on the count of three again. You ready, Ms. Yumi?” When Ms. Yumi grabbed Jay’s shoulder to hold them steady, Tiffany nodded. “One, two, three.”

The pair hoisted Jay up to their feet and as soon as they were upright, they stumbled for a moment. Still clutching their head with their free hand, they hissed and closed their eyes in a small wince. “Yeah, I’m _definitely_ gonna be feeling that…”

“We can take you to the nurse for an ice pack to help with the swelling,” Tiffany reassured them. She clutched their hand. “You good to walk? The nurse’s office isn’t far from here, but I don’t want to strain you.”

“I should have some pain meds in my purse, if you need them,” Ms. Yumi added, “trust me, I _know_ how killer headaches can be.”

Then, Kyu appeared in front of Jay, and were they not so disoriented, they would have jumped. “Two girls at once, eh? Nicely done, newbie.”

Jay closed their eyes. “Jesus _Christ…_ ”

“That bad, huh?” Ms. Yumi commented. She turned to Tiffany. “You take one arm and I take the other?”

Tiffany nodded in response. Both women pulled Jay’s arms over their shoulders, draping across the back of their necks. Once the two began to start walking, Jay walked in time with them, trying their best to ignore the throbbing pain and the fact that Kyu was practically beaming as she floated in front of them backwards. Then, their eyes trailed up to the University building and they felt their insides turn. So much for moving on from the past…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah.... Jay's got some issues regarding school. We'll be getting more into it as we go.


End file.
